Rock the Vote

Neither of these images seemingly sits well with the Rock Hall. If it inducts a bunch of guys dressed up as gay strippers, singing in falsetto, the institution may become a mockery -- a slap in the face of the earnest sensibilities of classic rock.

On the other hand, the Priest is pretty scary -- so scary that the band was sued in 1990 for inducing suicide among teens. That footnote in the band's history might not be too good for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum's attendance either. It is a family destination, after all . . . Right, Tipper?

Look at Sabbath. It took the band 12 years and eight failed nominations to finally get inducted. Judas Priest has been eligible since 2001, and despite several fan petitions, they've received not even a nod from the committee.

The likeliest metal band to get inducted next will be Metallica, who become eligible in 2008. Unlike Judas Priest, Metallica had the sort of crossover success that made girls named "Tammy" think they were great. With "the Black Album," Metallica reconnected metal with melody as well as its bluesy roots.

When James Hetfield does make his acceptance speech at the induction ceremony next year, hopefully he'll remind the crowd that if it weren't for the Priest, Metallica would never have existed.

Guns N' Roses
Everyone from Ozzy to Q Magazine has named GN'R one of the greatest rock bands of all time. Many consider the band an instant lock for the Hall in 2012, its first year of eligibility.

After all, 1989's Appetite for Destruction was the highest-selling debut of all time as well as a critical success. Even though Axl and company looked as hokey as Mötley Crüe, their music and lyrics were seen as a direct link to classics like Zeppelin and the Stones (for whom GN'R opened in 1989).

The band went on to sell over 90 million records. But by 1993's The Spaghetti Incident?, GN'R was already shitting the bed. Just four years after Appetite, the band's sleaze rock was replaced by grunge and alt-rock: Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Smashing Pumpkins.

Thanks to infighting and highly unstable personalities, GN'R wasn't capable of building a lasting career like Metallica. They will forever be associated with bad perms and pegged pants. No one listens to "Welcome to the Jungle" because it's a classic. We listen to GN'R because it's funny and nostalgic.

You also don't hear GN'R's influence on any bands after 1993 -- unless that band is the Darkness, which is little more than an arena-rock parody.

For anyone who believes that great rock should be timeless, GN'R is probably the wrong pick for the Rock Hall.

Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band
What Stephen Hawking is to physics, Captain Beefheart is to rock.

Since his 1967 debut, Safe as Milk, the man reinvented music with each subsequent release -- until his last in 1982, after which he retired. He went from quirky reinterpretations of blues-rock in the Howlin' Wolf tradition to full-blown avant garde weirdness.

His influence has also been enormous. Along with the Velvet Underground, he's cited as an ancestor of new wave and punk. He's name-checked by everyone from our very own Pere Ubu to the White Stripes (though admittedly, no one sounds a thing like him).

But the problem with Beefheart reaching Hall status is that he's always been too out-there for mass acceptance. His influence, however significant, was left on few commercially successful bands, aside from cult figure Tom Waits. Utter the strange word "Beefheart," and most rock fans will think you're talking about cow organs. Play 1969's Trout Mask Replica for the casual music listener, and they'll tell you to turn that crap off. Hell, most rock snobs will probably admit that they never listen to the guy, either. He's that strange.

Aside from a handful of true freaks, no one really cares if Beefheart is inducted or not. His appearance at the induction ceremony certainly wouldn't hike up VH1's ratings or buy the museum more season passes.

Still, if one of the Rock Hall's main objectives is to celebrate innovation, Beefheart is the party to end all parties.