What mainstream publishers don't want you to know about door-to-door magazine sales.
When these huntresses on are on the prowl, the prey very much wants to be caught.
How rumored McCain veep choice Charlie Crist wants to bail out Big Sugar.
Are Asian women getting their jawbones cut to look whiter?
Favorite venue to play: The Odeon (R.I.P.) and Peabody's.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: If chicks ever want to make out with us, anywhere is excellent.
Mayor Jackson should . . . shave! Good Lord, you're the f*cking MAYOR.
Best part of town: Anywhere near the lake, so as long as we can fish.
We'll never forget . . . when Jeff Niesel slammed our first record, then honored us with a spot on Scene's "Top 10 Worst Bands of 2000."
Your music sounds best when drinking . . . the blood of our enemies.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? American Werewolves, especially if Trevor coldcocks some drunken idiot.
American Werewolves
12 A.M., TEQUILA RANCH
Website:
www.americanwerewolves.comPersonnel: Trevor Moment, Tony Scambony, Brendan Moore, and Nate 68.
Your best release: We have a new disc coming out in October. It's the best one yet.
Describe your sound: Violent, '50s rock and roll, with the energy of early '80s hardcore.
Three bands you would open for: Dion, Bad Brains, and Crowd Deterrent.
I'll never forget . . . the Summer of Hate show '07. What a bloodbath.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: Ask some emo scenester. We're grown men.
Your biggest influence: Doo-wop and early hardcore.
Mayor Jackson should . . . stop jocking me. We have the community at its knees.
Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? Yes -- it sucked! I thought I was going to die. I saw a big rat swim by.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? Do you really need to ask?
Mick Boogie
7 P.M., LIQUID/FUSION
Website:
www.myspace.com/mickboogie.Personnel: Commissioner of the League Crew (Cleveland's most popular DJ crew).
Your best release: Mick Boogie & Little Brother's And Justus for All. Considered a classic in underground hip-hop circles.
Describe your sound: Cross-genre musicality expressed through a hip-hop style of deejaying.
Three classic DJs you would open for: Jazzy Jeff, Funkmaster Flex, and Kid Capri.
Favorite venues to play: Anatomy and Touch Supper Club.
Mayor Jackson should . . . get a Chipotle downtown. And can we get some stores down here? Any store would be nice.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: My bed -- and I'm single now, ladies.
Your biggest influence: Jazzy Jeff. The greatest who ever did it. Humility, skill, intelligence, and showmanship -- the four best qualities a DJ can have.
Best part of town: East Fourth Street. It's the only part of downtown that gives a fuck about developing a neighborhood for its residents.
Why we need to see you: I play everything and anything, and make it sound like it was supposed to go together. If you love music, you'll love a Mick Boogie party.
Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? No. But I had sex in the Rock Hall.
Will Bowen
10 P.M., TEQUILA RANCH
Website:
www.willbowen.com.Personnel: Will Bowen, Mikey Gould, Rufus Jones, and Sam Getz.
Your best release: The soon-to-be-released Love Is War disc, because of the growth in songwriting and the major-label-quality production.
Describe your sound: Accessible pop rock with an edge.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: The Foundation Room at the House of Blues. Very classy.
Your biggest influence: Bryan Adams. He may be cheesy, but he wrote simple love songs that millions of people love to this day.
Best part of town: Although I'm an East Sider, I say Tremont for the culture and nightlife.
Cleveland's greatest band: Cactus 12, because of their amazing talent and good looks.
Why we need to see you: It's been a while since Cleveland produced a strong pop-rock band that can grow. If that's what you enjoy, come see us.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? Local bands need to support each other, so I say every band will rule it equally!
Cory Branan
11 P.M., BAR FLYY
Website:
www.corybranan.com.Personnel: Just me and guitar.
Your best release: 12 Songs. It's newish.
How long have you been around? My first record, The Hell You Say, came out in 2003, but I came out in December 1974.
Describe your sound: I've heard people call it anti-folk, but it feels like folk music to me.
Two bands you would open for: Thin Lizzy, and Mudboy and the Neutrons.
Favorite venue to play: I played the Beachland once with Marshall Crenshaw. It had a kind of sock-hop feel in the best way possible.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: Being from Memphis, I wouldn't know . . . yet.
Your biggest influence: John Prine. His music was the first time I ever heard country haiku.
Why we need to see you: I gots to pay the light bill.
Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? Nope. But I lost a shoe in the Mississippi once.
Who will rule the Scene Music Festival? Roger Hoover and the Whiskeyhounds!
Clouds Forming Crowns
7:20 P.M., VELVET DOG, FLOOR ONE
Website:
www.tobias-music.comPersonnel: Tim and Todd Tobias write and record all the music. Then Brian Noga, Scott Pickering, Brian Strazek, and other heroes and villains bring it to life onstage.
Describe your sound: Guitars and drums.
Three bands you would open for: Thin Lizzy, Wire, and the Smut Midgets, this crazy Dutch band from the early '70s.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: Kingsbury Run.
Have you ever broken up? You can't break up with your brother.
Mayor Jackson should . . . Musicians have no business commenting on politics or religion. Have you ever talked to a musician?
Cleveland's greatest band: Too many to count, but there was a band called Shitmother back in the early '90s that killed.
Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? Of course -- don't you?
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? Coffinberry!
Coffinberry
11:40 P.M., LIQUID/FUSION
Website:
www.coffinberry.net.Personnel: Anthony Cross, Pat O'Connor, Tony Janicek, Nick Cross, and Kooky Pants.
Your best release: Our new record, God Dam Dogs, because we worked so hard on it.
Describe your sound: Power pup. Powder rock. Like sonic hedgehogs doing freak rock.
Two bands you would open for: the Dave Clark Five and the Strawberry Alarm Clock.
Favorite venue to play: Our basement or the Phantasy.
Have you ever broken up? No, but we hope to one day.
Best part of town: We like downtown, 'cause it's cool.
Cleveland's greatest band: The Mice, because their music, like Jurassic Park, is good.
Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? No, but we once connected our Slip 'n Slide to a friend's Crocodile Mile.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? Whichever band does the best job and makes it a safe place for women.
Copperfoot
11 P.M., TEQUILA RANCH
Website:
www.copperfoot.comPersonnel: Jeff Boyer, Gary Boyer, Adam Constantine, Meghan Clay, and Dano.
How long have you been around? About two years.