will.i.am

Derivative, repetitive, insipid, insincere, and pandering -- Songs About Girls also boasts the worst CD booklet in recent memory: seven pages of will.i.am mugging it up in a checkered suit.

Actually, the first song, titled "Over," isn't terrible. It's a lover's lament that features a sample from Electric Light Orchestra (never a bad thing). However, by the time we reach "I Got It From My Mama," the disc's third track and first single, the ship slams directly into the iceberg. It's an almost note-for-note rip-off of "My Humps," which means there exists a new worst single of the millennium.

On "The Donque Song," Snoop regurgitates some of his Doggystyle rhymes over a techno beat. Even better is "One More Chance," wherein will vomits up this gem: "I know you want more than a dick in ya/You want a good nigga to stick with ya."

But wait, we're not done: "Fantastic" contains yet another sample of the Jackson 5's "I Want You Back," and "S.O.S" is an anti-global-warming power ballad. Unfortunately, it's hard to muster sympathy. A culture capable of producing this album deserves its fate.